WHAT THE HELL IS LOVE?

i wrote this essay back when i didn't believe in love, but i found one now.

I am the type of person who has been looking for the definition of love for quiet a while and still does not have the answer. “What is love?” and my answer is “I am not sure.” I don’t think I have ever been in love. I am still too young and inexperienced to feel love.

I was sitting with my boyfriend when I tried to write this essay. I kept on asking myself, “Do I love him?” probably not. Then I asked myself again, “Does he love me?” and my guess is “no”. After I questioned myself, I started to think, “Why are we in a relationship?” So I took a guess one more time. It is because I want to know if he has the qualities of a person I might love and vice versa. I do not know about his list of qualities, but I know mine. A person I love has to: be trustworthy, care about me and vice versa, make me feel safe, make me comfortable, be there for me when I needed them, be honest, like me for who I am, listen to me when I really need someone to talk to, share their thoughts and feelings, and would not ever intend to hurt me.

What is love that they are talking about? I have no idea. I want to know the definition but it’s so hard to find. I want to believe that love is forever, just like in the Cinderella story, but I doubt it. Can I ever find love like that, maybe not in a million years? I am afraid to fall in love